How to let go
I remember the first time I enjoyed a massage—mostly because I wasn’t aware of the tipping policy and ended up leaving my masseuse a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory in the absence of cash.
But I also remember something else from that day. When my masseuse started to work the kinks out of my neck, she said something interesting: “Let go. I’ve got you.” You see, I was busy trying to hold my head up by my own strength to help her. I had to support the weight of my head, after all. It hadn’t even dawned on me that she didn’t need my help.
So, hesitantly, I did let go of the weight of my head and allowed the muscles in my neck to relax. It was a creepy feeling, as if my neck was made of Jell-O. Yet sure enough, my masseuse was more than capable of supporting me.
The best thing? The massage was a hundred times better now that I didn’t have to hold myself up, strain myself, or worry about what my role in the situation was.
That day it was just my head I was trying to hold up, but how many times do we feel like it’s the weight of the world on our shoulders? Immeasurably gargantuan trials stack up against us and sometimes we don’t see the light at the other end of the tunnel. Suddenly, a million what if’s and how’s and why’s and when’s buzz around in our head like so many bee’s, stinging us with the scare of what could be if things don’t work out as planned.
Back in December, I battled a few bees of my own. When my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, it was a struggle not to be overwhelmed with what if’s. What if the doctor’s right in his guesstimate that my dad also has lymphoma in addition to what he’s already fighting? What if everything I’ve heard about chemotherapy comes true and my dad loses all his hair?
Thank God that I learned how to let go. There came a time in December when I realized I couldn’t live the rest of my life tangoing with what if’s, because guess what: what if’s are always going to be around! You’re always going to wander how to pay those piling bills, you’re always going to wander if you’re doing enough to see your dreams realized, you’re always going to wonder when Mr. Right is going to waltz into your life already.
It’s when you let these what if’s control your every waking moment, that you give up on enjoying life.
In December, what did this look like? Well despite the oncologist’s estimations, I chose not to worry about lymphoma until the test results returned and confirmed it. Worrying about it wasn’t going to change the results. Worrying about it wasn’t going to magically make the lymphoma disappear. And more importantly: choosing to accept it as reality before it even was reality was as good as me manifesting it into existence! So instead, I let it go. I stopped worrying about it. I accepted that it was out of my hands. I hoped for the best with every fiber of my being and I prayed fervently for a different outcome.
Would you believe it? For all the oncologist’s estimations, it turned out my dad didn’t have lymphoma at all. All that worrying would’ve been for nothing. I would’ve simply wasted precious mental and emotional energy. (By the way, the same held true for the chemotherapy fears: my dad didn’t lose his hair at all!)
Remember, for all our agonizing over it, the future actually doesn’t really exist. It’s an illusion! It’s only a figment of our imagination and we decide whether that imagination is positive or negative. In other words, we feed the future.
At the same time, there are simply some things that are out of our control, and if we want to live more peace-filled and joyful lives, then it’s time we recognize that and learn how to let go.
Obviously, ‘don’t worry about it’ is easier said than done. So I’ve developed a special PDF exercise that is going to help you identify the situations in your life that are causing you stress. You’ll be able to recognize the significant effects this situation is having on you. Then, based on whether the situation is or is not out of your control, you’ll receive steps toward either letting go of it once and for all or steps toward affecting the outcome! So download it here now and use it for each worrisome situation you currently face.
Then in the comments below, tell me what you discovered while doing this exercise! Don’t forget to share this article with a friend—they’ll love you for it!