Is chronic complaining ruining your life?
Is chronic complaining ruining your life?
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reading on the subject of the ‘scarcity mentality’. Have you ever heard of it before?
Basically, people with a scarcity mentality are fluent in the ‘language of lack’. Common myths they speak out loud include:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I’m not qualified.”
- “I’ll always be poor.”
- “I’ll never make enough money.”
- “I’m so unlucky.”
- “I’ll never be happy.”
- “I’ll never find ‘the one’.”
- “Something like that could never happen to me.”
On and on the stories go. Unfortunately, what few people realize is that the more they subscribe to these myths, the more they become a concrete reality.
To put it another way: the thoughts we think and the words we speak create the reality that we experience.
Basically, what you focus on is what you attract.
I experienced this firsthand over the past few months. After publishing my second novel, I decided to switch my focus to career pursuits and look for some freelance writing opportunities. After weeks of nonstop inquiries, resumes, and cover letters galore with nothing to show for it, however, I started to feel discouraged.
Needless to say, the scarcity mentality started to plant ideas in my head: you’ll never get a gig, you don’t have the qualifications, you’ll never get to live the life of your dreams. And the danger is that once you let these ideas take root, it can wreak havoc. In no time, these thoughts become spoken words, a.k.a. complaints.
So I found myself complaining about what I perceived was a lack of opportunities in the world, complaining about the recruitment and hiring process (were people even reading my resume?), and complaining about how unfair life was being at the moment.
Here’s the catch: when I let my mind run on this particular programming, indeed there weren’t any opportunities at all! And this of course only fueled more scarcity thinking/negativity/complaints.
At one point, I hit the brakes and realized how yucky my thinking had become. Simply put, chronic complaining was just so exhausting! It didn’t feel good, life-giving, or empowering to see the negative in my situation, nor was it a lifestyle I wanted to perpetuate.
In that moment, I decided I was going to pick myself back up, return to the drawing board, and devote myself to being more positive in this process.
And you know what happened? Suddenly there were opportunities everywhere! I ‘found’ dozens upon dozens of job boards that I’d never even heard of before. I learned about new opportunities to use my skills and passions in ways I hadn’t considered. Resources were suddenly popping out of nowhere and grabbing my attention.
What caused this?
For me, the answer is pretty simple: my mindset.
You see, when you choose scarcity and negativity and you allow constant complaining to be your mode of operation, you’re essentially closing yourself off to abundance and resources. So long as you’re saying “I’ll never be able to do that”, then guess what: you never will be able to do it, whatever it is! You’re essentially speaking that over yourself and setting limits for yourself.
But when you choose to see opportunities instead and trust that things will align for your benefit and that a path will unravel at your feet step by step, and when you move forward in faith, miracles truly do happen.
As in my case, opportunities and resources will suddenly show up because you’re finally opening yourself up to them and anticipating them.
So, what do you do from here on out? Well for the next few weeks, I’m going to be talking more in depth about overcoming a scarcity mentality and how you can begin to open yourself up to more abundance.
For now, here’s a challenge you can immediately put into practice: for the next 24 hours, do not think or utter a single complaint about anything.
It’s truly quite the exercise! When you practice it, you’ll be surprised by just how many complaints enter your mind within a single day. And when they do come, simply dismiss them by offsetting them with a positive thought. (i.e. ‘I never hear back from employers.’ -> ‘I know the right opportunity is coming my way’.)
Consider the next 24 hours a mental detox. Think about the ways your own thinking has sabotaged your success and happiness, flush out the scarcity/negativity, and then make a commitment to being more positive about your circumstances moving forward. Come up with 3 small ways you can think about your situation differently and how you can go about it in a new and more confident way.
Then keep your eyes open for the miracles that come your way. 😉